From a coffee mug – an approximation of the Truth about our egos

Kristy, my beloved, sweet girlfriend, has a pretty, pink coffee mug. On this coffee mug are the following words: “Whatever a woman does, she must do twice as well as a man, to be considered half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.”

There is a lot going on in this statement. First is the obvious wound reflected by a certain amount of truth in the statement. Being a man, I can’t exactly speak for women. That said, I would hope that things are better for women now, such that the saying on the coffee mug is less true today than it was when I was a child, for example.

But let’s look a little deeper into the statement on the mug.  In the paradigm of “The Music of Systems,” our egos are simply a mechanism for protecting us from our own woundedness.  The entire mechanism of our egos is reflected in the statement on this mug.  First is the wound – that for a long time, in many aspects of life, society has valued the contributions of men more highly than women.  If you are a woman, and you have found yourself limited by this tendency in some way, that hurts – that is the wound.  The second aspect of the ego is also reflected in the statement , “Luckily, this is not difficult.”  This second aspect of the ego is that when people have wounds (which we all do), we commonly protect ourselves from them by building our egos up in some way.  You all know the ways we do this – by the rationalization of our “less-than-optimal” behaviors, by the seeking of approval by others, by finding others with whom we can compare ourselves to favorably, and on and on.

So what is the challenge here?  Very simply to notice when your ego is going.  Consider what a more balanced truth might be.  Instead of, “I am the greatest!” a more balanced truth might be, “I just won an international chess competition.”  Instead of, “I just got promoted because I am better than all these other people,” you could tell yourself, “I just got promoted because my management considers me best qualified for this position.”  If you can discover the balanced, neutral truth, and hold that in your consciousness, you can discover the wounds you have been covering.  Then it is just a matter of bringing love and acceptance to your wounds, to facilitate the healing process.  Simple, but not necessarily easy.

If you recognize that we all have wounds, and we all have egos, and we all are doing the best we can with all this, then it becomes easier to accept your own.  We are all magnificent beings of Light, and our egos, and our life situations, and our healing processes are just the particular classes in school we are in.  So next time you see someone making a total idiot out of themselves, remind yourself that they are a magnificent being of Light, learning this particular lesson.  The next time you see someone do something really amazing, remind yourself that they are a magnificent being of Light, learning this particular lesson.  That is really all that is going on here.

Kristy is a successful business owner.  I don’t think she really believes the statement on the mug.  It is a cool-looking mug, however.

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